Emotional Eating: A different Perspective
I eat when I’m stressed, bored, sad - pretty much any emotion sends me to the kitchen.
A Compassionate Approach to Emotional Eating
Many of us have been taught that emotional eating is a problem—something to fix or control. But emotional eating is not a failure. It’s a sign that we are human, seeking comfort in a way that has likely served us in the past.
Rather than trying to eliminate emotional eating, I invite you to explore it with curiosity and kindness. Instead of asking, "How do I stop eating emotionally?" we can shift to, "What am I truly needing in this moment?"
Emotional Eating Is Not the Enemy
Food can be a source of comfort, connection, and even survival in times of distress. There is nothing inherently wrong with eating in response to emotions—what matters is whether it’s the only tool in your coping toolbox.
If food has been a primary way you’ve soothed yourself, there is likely a valid reason for that. Maybe food was one of the few comforts available to you as a child. Maybe years of dieting made certain foods feel emotionally charged, turning them into a source of both comfort and rebellion. Or maybe you’re navigating a particularly stressful season, and food is offering a much-needed moment of relief.
Whatever the reason, emotional eating deserves compassion—not judgment. When we approach it with curiosity, we create space to explore what we truly need, rather than getting stuck in cycles of guilt and restriction.
Meeting Your Basic Needs First
Before assuming that emotional eating is the issue, it’s important to check in with your physical needs first. As a dietitian, I see that many of my clients who feel out of control with food are actually undereating—whether intentionally or unintentionally.
If your body isn’t getting enough energy throughout the day, it will naturally crave food, often in the form of quick-digesting carbohydrates or sweets. This isn’t about a lack of willpower—it’s about survival.
Take a moment to reflect on the following:
Do you feel preoccupied with food or struggle to stop eating once you start?
Do you crave carbs or sweets intensely?
Do you often feel irritable, tired, or unable to concentrate?
Do you skip meals or go more than five hours (during waking hours) without eating?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, your body may simply be asking for more food. Ensuring you’re well-fed with balanced, satisfying meals can reduce the urgency around eating and help you better distinguish between biological hunger and emotional needs.
Emotional Eating: Expanding Your Coping Tools with Self-Compassion
If you’re adequately fueling your body and still find yourself eating in response to emotions, that’s okay. The goal isn’t to eliminate emotional eating but to broaden the ways you care for yourself.
Consider reflecting on these questions:
How has emotional eating served you in the past?
What emotions tend to trigger eating for you?
What are other ways you can respond to these emotions?
Some alternative coping tools might include:
Sitting with discomfort: Acknowledge and name the emotion you're feeling instead of pushing it away.
Journaling or self-reflection: Writing about your emotions can bring clarity.
Connection: Talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or support person.
Movement: Gentle movement, like stretching or a short walk, can help process emotions.
Distraction: Engaging in a non-food-related activity, like listening to music, doing a creative hobby, or stepping outside.
Remember, food can be a source of comfort, and that’s okay. The key is to have multiple ways to meet your emotional needs so that food isn’t the only tool in your coping toolbox.
Would you like support in exploring emotional eating with kindness? My practice offers weight-inclusive nutrition counseling, and many insurance plans cover sessions.
How to Build a Healthier Relationship with Food & Your Body
I’ve been dieting my whole life, and nothing ever seems to work. I just want to feel good in my body, but I don’t know where to start.
In the last blog, you had the opportunity to take a quiz that helped assess how much diet culture is impacting you. If you missed it, you can check it out here. Your results may have brought up some new and/or difficult emotions. Diet culture is so ingrained in our lives that we often don’t even realize it’s there and that it may be negatively impacting us. It has given us the illusion that it’s necessary and that not participating in it means you don’t care about your health. While I don’t believe anyone has to work toward a "healthier lifestyle," if it’s something you care about, un-dieting your life does NOT mean not caring about your health.
To help break this down further, I’ve created a side-by-side comparison of a non-diet lifestyle vs a diet lifestyle:
Feeling ready to start moving away from diet culture? Let’s get into some tangible action steps!
Recognizing Diet Culture in Daily Life – Common signs, like guilt around eating certain foods or the pressure to “burn off” meals.
Diet culture is everywhere—in conversations, advertisements, social media, and even well-meaning advice from friends, family, and medical providers. Start noticing messages that:
Label foods as “good” or “bad.”
Suggest that weight loss is the key to happiness or health.
Promote the idea that eating certain foods requires “earning” or “burning” them off.
Awareness is the first step toward change!
Reframing Food & Body Talk – Language shifts that help foster a more positive food environment, especially for families.
I wish there was a magical way to remove all these lingering diet thoughts and eliminate the knee-jerk reaction to negative body image thoughts. But unfortunately, unlearning takes time, and healing is not linear. At times, you may take a few steps backward—and that is SO normal! In the world of dieting, steps backward often trigger thoughts like, “I failed at this diet, so I’ll just give up and eat all the things I’ve been restricting,” pulling you back into the never-ending dieting cycle.
But in Intuitive Eating and a non-diet approach, there is no "pass or fail." Setbacks are part of the process and will ultimately help you grow stronger.
To practice reframing, consider a common thought you have about dieting or your body. See if you can poke holes in the thought and reframe it with something that feels authentic to you. Below are some examples of common thoughts and possible reframes. The key is that it needs to feel authentic to you!
Food-Related Reframes:
❌ Common Thought: "I can’t trust myself around sweets—I’ll just eat them all."
🔄 Authentic Reframe: "It makes sense that I feel out of control around sweets since I’ve labeled them as off-limits. Maybe if I let myself have them more often, they wouldn’t feel so intense."
❌ Common Thought: "I skipped my workout today, so I shouldn’t eat so much."
🔄 Authentic Reframe: "It’s hard to unlearn the idea that food and exercise have to be ‘earned,’ but my body still deserves nourishment, no matter what."
❌ Common Thought: "I have no willpower when it comes to food."
🔄 Authentic Reframe: "I’ve been taught to see my eating as a discipline issue, but maybe my body is just asking for something I haven’t been giving it."
Body Image Reframes:
❌ Common Thought: "I need to lose weight before I can feel good about myself."
🔄 Authentic Reframe: "I don’t love how I feel in my body right now, but I can start treating it with kindness even if my feelings haven’t caught up yet."
❌ Common Thought: "I hate how my body looks in these clothes."
🔄 Authentic Reframe: "It’s frustrating when clothes don’t fit the way I want them to. Maybe I deserve clothes that fit me instead of trying to fit into them."
❌ Common Thought: "I should look like I did years ago."
🔄 Authentic Reframe: "I miss how I used to look, and that’s okay. But my body has carried me through a lot, and maybe I can start appreciating that."
Practicing Permission with Food – Steps to neutralize "forbidden" foods and reduce the fear around them.
The concept of "unconditional permission to eat" can feel overwhelming and daunting. If that feels uncomfortable, start with considering what foods are actually appealing. Think about flavors, temperature, texture, and volume. In the world of dieting, we rarely consider what we want to eat, so take your time with this question and revisit it every time you plan to eat. Practice acknowledging the answer, and if you’re able, honor it!
Listening to Your Body – Introducing hunger, fullness, and satisfaction cues.
When you’re dieting, hunger becomes something to fear. But in reality, hunger is a cue from your body telling you it needs energy and nutrients. Hunger can feel different for each person and varies in intensity. I recommend using a hunger scale to get familiar with these signals:
1 = Ravenous, shaky, painfully hungry
2 = Very hungry, irritable, hard to focus
3 = Politely hungry, able to consider what sounds appealing
4 = Early hunger signals—thinking about food (this is a great time to start preparing food)
5 = Neutral, midway through your meal
Fullness is also often feared among dieters. If you constantly use external indicators of how much to eat, it can take time to recognize that "just right" amount of food that leaves you feeling energized, comfortable, and ready to move on. Here’s the fullness side of the scale:
6 = Starting to feel full, nearing the last bite
7 = Feeling comfortable, energized, and satisfied
8 = A little too full, but not unpleasant yet
9 = Unpleasant level of fullness
10 = Painful level of fullness
It may help to keep a journal and note your hunger and fullness throughout the day. This isn’t meant for self-judgment, but as a way to practice pausing and assessing these feelings.
Learning to recognize and honor hunger and fullness cues is an important step in breaking free of diet culture. But here’s the thing: we don’t eat just for biological hunger. Emotional eating gets a bad reputation, but the truth is, eating is always emotional, and that’s okay. This will be the focus of a future post!
Handling Triggers & Social Pressure – How to respond when faced with diet talk from friends, family, or media.
This will vary a lot depending on the situation and personalities involved. Here are a few ideas:
For new non-dieters and/or a non-confrontational approach:
Mentally acknowledge the diet talk and practice reframing the message. For example, when someone in a smaller body than yours comments about needing to lose more weight, reframe it as:
"It sounds like they’re feeling pressured by diet culture too. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and weight doesn’t determine health or worth."
Or, if it feels right, you might respond with something neutral like,
"It’s tough how much pressure there is around weight. I’m working on seeing my body with more kindness."
The goal is to shift your internal dialogue away from comparison or self-doubt and toward a more compassionate, non-diet perspective.
If you feel more bold:
You could gently challenge the comment with something like,
"It’s interesting how diet culture makes us feel like we’re never enough, no matter our size."
Or, if you feel comfortable, ask a reflective question like,
"Do you think the pressure to always shrink our bodies is really helping us feel better?"
This approach can plant a seed of curiosity without turning the conversation into a debate. The key is to honor your own boundaries while staying true to your values.
Setting Boundaries:
Sometimes, we need to set boundaries with people in our lives. Here are some ways to communicate those boundaries:
With Friends:
“Hey, I’m working on having a healthier relationship with food and my body, so I’d prefer not to talk about diets or weight. Can we focus on something else?”
“I get that dieting is a big part of our culture, but I’m working on a different approach. I’d love it if we could keep our conversations free of diet talk.”
“I’m happy to chat about food, but I prefer to focus on how it makes us feel rather than weight or calories.”
With Family:
“I know you mean well, but comments about my body (or what I’m eating) aren’t helpful. Let’s talk about something else.”
“I’m working on unlearning diet culture, so I’d appreciate it if we could avoid weight or diet conversations.”
“I love spending time together, but when diet talk comes up, it makes it harder for me to enjoy it. Can we change the subject?”
With Medical Providers:
“I’m not interested in discussing weight loss. Can we focus on my health concerns without making weight the focus?”
“I follow a weight-inclusive approach to health. I’d appreciate recommendations that don’t center on weight or dieting.”
“I understand that weight is often mentioned in healthcare, but I’d prefer to focus on behaviors and lab work rather than the number on the scale.”
Final Thoughts:
I want to note that this is HARD. These thoughts and concepts have been ingrained in us since early childhood as fact, so this process of unlearning is going to take time. You may find that having additional support through the process makes it more doable. If you’re seeking more support, book a visit today! I’d love to support you on this journey. And, since I take insurance, financial barriers don’t need to stand in your way!
How Much Does Diet Culture Influence You?
Have you ever thought about how diet culture might be influencing your thoughts and behaviors around food and your body? It's so deeply ingrained in our society that we often don’t notice it. But recognizing its impact is the first step toward breaking free. To help you reflect on this, I’ve created a quick quiz to see how much diet culture may be shaping your daily thoughts. Take a moment to check in with yourself!
Remember, this quiz is for self-reflection, not judgment. There’s no right or wrong answer, and your responses are valid. Many of us have been influenced by diet culture in ways we don’t even realize. There’s no shame in recognizing these patterns—you're not alone in this journey.
Quiz:
How Much Does Diet Culture Influence You?
Give yourself 1 point for each “Yes”:
Do you label foods as “good” or “bad”?
Do you feel guilty or ashamed after eating certain foods?
Have you ever skipped meals or restricted food to “make up for” something you ate?
Do you avoid social situations because of concerns about food or your body?
Do you view exercise primarily as a way to burn calories or change your body?
Do you feel pressure to look a certain way to feel accepted or worthy?
Do you regularly compare your body to others in person or on social media?
Have you ever felt like your self-worth is tied to your weight or appearance?
Do you feel anxious when your body changes or fluctuates?
Do you find yourself thinking about food, dieting, or your body more than you’d like?
Your Results:
0-3 Points: Diet culture has a smaller influence, but there’s always room to reflect on your relationship with food and body.
4-7 Points: Diet culture is showing up in your thoughts. Reflecting on these areas could help you find more peace and balance.
8-10 Points: Diet culture may have a strong hold on your thoughts and behaviors. You’re not alone—taking steps to challenge these messages can be freeing.
What’s Next? Recognizing diet culture’s influence is a powerful first step! The next step is deciding what to do with that awareness. Stay tuned for future posts that will dive even deeper into these topics.
If you’re ready to explore these patterns more deeply, I’d love to support you in breaking free from harmful food rules and embracing a healthier, more intuitive relationship with food.
Let’s work together:
You don’t have to navigate this alone—I’m here to help.
Together We Can Jump Off the Diet Roller Coaster!
Why? Like most people, I learned at an early age that health (and even happiness) was dependent on weight. Media, the medical world and my own family furthered my belief that striving for a “perfect body” through weight loss was the holy grail! I would be happy, healthy, and worthy of respect, only if I lost weight. I spent a lot of time trying to fit my body into societal standards. I even went to school to be a Registered Dietitian so I could finally have the secret to a perfect body. Well… it turns out there is a lot of misinformation out there. It has taken much time, much effort challenging societal norms and much commitment to a lot of unlearning.
Welcome to EveryBody Nutrition Counseling! I’m so glad you’re here!
My mission is to help shift the narrative from a weight-centric approach to a weight-inclusive approach, because EveryBody deserves freedom from diet culture.
Here are some highlights from the research.
Health is NOT dependent on weight
Prioritizing weight is futile
Body size is not related to self worth
Food does not hold moral value
People come in different shapes and sizes
Health is NOT dependent on weight
Society places a lot of emphasis on weight, often equating thinness with health. But true well-being is about much more than a number. It’s about feeling good—both emotionally and physically—and adopting habits that support long-term wellness. Research shows that behavior changes, not weight loss, are what improve health. In a study of over 11,000 men and women, those who adopted healthy habits saw reduced mortality rates, regardless of their body mass index (BMI). (Stayed tuned for a future post about the problems with BMI!)
Prioritizing Weight is Futile
Most diets are restrictive, focusing on eliminating certain foods or drastically reducing calories. While this may lead to short-term weight loss, it’s unsustainable. People often regain the weight they lose—and sometimes even more—because diets aren’t designed for long-term success. Repeatedly losing and regaining weight (weight cycling) is more harmful than maintaining a higher, stable weight. Studies show that weight cycling increases the risk of chronic conditions like cardiovascular disease and diabetes.
Food Does Not Hold Moral Value
Ever thought, “Ugh, I’m so bad for eating (fill in the blank).” Ya, me too! But the truth is, eating food we like does not make us bad. So let’s ditch the good food, bad food labels… it isn’t serving anyone!
Bodies Come in Different Shapes and Sizes
A person’s body shape and size are influenced by more than just diet and exercise. Genetics, medical conditions, medications, food access, mental health, preferences, and age all play a role. Weight diversity is natural, and health exists at every size.
Kids Feel the Negative Impact of Diet Culture
As I mentioned before, I was taught from a young age that being a certain size was REALLY important. I watched the adult women in my life criticize their own bodies, drink endless amounts of meal replacement drinks and snack on food that was essentially air. And while a lot of thin = good messaging came from movies, magazines and even doctors, the thing we have most control over is the message we are sending to our kids. If we want them to grow up with a healthy relationship to food, movement and their body, then we need to do the work ourselves.
The EveryBody Way = Food Freedom
So after completing all the necessary schooling, internships and tests needed to become a Registered Dietitian, I realized the mainstream message is wrong and comes at a big cost. So I created EveryBody Nutrition Counseling to help you unlearn diet culture and move to a place of food freedom. Instead of chasing unattainable goals, we focus on learning to live in your here-and-now body, finding pleasure in eating, feeling nourished and satisfied by food, and embracing movement that invigorates you. It’s about fostering respect for your body.
Weight-inclusive care may seem like a “do nothing” approach at first glance, but it’s far from that. The focus is on discovering what makes you feel your best—mentally, emotionally, and physically.
The journey to food freedom and body respect looks different for everyone. At EveryBody Nutrition Counseling, I prioritize individualized care tailored to your specific nutritional needs, lifestyle, and goals. I’ll be there to support and guide you every step of the way.
And, did you know most insurance companies cover nutrition counseling (often at no cost to you)? Check out the insurance companies I am currently in network with: https://www.everybodynutritionrd.com/appointmentsandpolicies
So what’s stopping you? Let’s jump off the roller coaster together!
